Welcome Back

Hello.

It's the new year, which is excellent. It's also 400 degrees C in the warehouse and that makes for an unpleasant day. What better time to take a lazy kick at the corpse of an unsuccessful writing career than in moments of extreme heat?

And what better way to begin again than with the traditional 'What I did on my holiday' style post?

Unfortunately, I was zonked after Christmas and lay on my living room floor like a puddle, rising briefly only to dismiss the help and gorge myself on Coffin Bay oysters. For those of you who battled your fellow holiday makers in such gorgeous spots as Lorne and Elsewhere, can I recommend staying home next year? It's far more relaxing.

As a dedicated warehouse worker, I had high expectations for the Christmas haul. I'm told that I'm difficult to buy for - I put that down to my naturally ungracious manner - so it's always interesting to see what turns up in the stocking. This year's inventory included:

1 George Foreman Grill - a welcome addition to the kitchen. I plan to cook oysters and oysters alone on it.

1 box packing tape w/ stanley knife - The 'socks and underpants' gift for a warehouse worker. Most appreciated.

1 packet apricot delights - a welcome treat, made all the more special that it was given to me by the family dog. She is so thoughtful.

1 Stackhat with instructions - see below.



Several books - one for use in conjunction with the GFG, and one for recreational reading.

Now, for those of you who have chosen to reproach me for my lack of blog posts over the last couple of months using hurtful words and threats, let me just say this; Christmas can be a grueling time of recreational spending and drinking. I like to socialise, and I don't like my catholic guilt to be in overdrive when I do it. I'll promise to make more of an effort this year if you promise not to be such jerks when I don't get around to it. Deal?